Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
