I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Randomize
