oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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