he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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