dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize