idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
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