Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
