It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
