i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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