he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
