i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
