it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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