:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
