Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize