he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
