I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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