HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
