Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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