Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
