yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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