chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
