I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
