ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
