where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
only if we run a train.
done.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
