Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
