Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
