How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
