why didn't you poke me back
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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