Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
