Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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