Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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