So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
