That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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