You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
