sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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