lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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