i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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