Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
