just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
