Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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