somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
