I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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