it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
