Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
