Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
