I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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