btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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