Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
