carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
