i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
