I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
