I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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