She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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