So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
