Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
