I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
