i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
