everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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