he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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