YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
time to smoke my breakfast
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
