my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
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