you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize