Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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