he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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