You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
