I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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